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Monday, March 14, 2011

Readers Digest Best Jokes - 3

When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he
turned her down, saying: ‘Your salary is already higher than that of the
secretary at the next desk. And she has five children.’
‘Excuse me,’ the efficient woman replied, ‘I thought we got paid for what we
produce here—not for what we produce at home in our own time.’


Asmall farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came
charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly
continued his milking.
To everyone’s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy,
turned around and walked away . ‘Weren’t you afraid?’ one of the workers
asked the boy.
‘Not at all,’ the boy replied , ‘I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.’


Apatient complains to a famous psychologist: ‘Professor, I’ve been having
terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me.’
‘Who’s been treating you until now?’
‘Dr Lal Rathor.‘
‘I see. He’s an idiot. I’m curious to know what he advised you to do.’
‘To come and see you.’


Overheard: I can say one good thing about airline food: at least they’re
considerate enough to give you only small portions.


Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a
bomb, which one of them had in his lap.
‘Drive a little faster, the bomb may go off any minute,’ said the man carrying
the explosive.
‘Don’t worry,’ the driver assured him, ‘we have got a spare one in the boot.’
ooo
Boy to mother: I’ve decided to stop studying.’
‘How come?’ asked the mother.
‘I heard that that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.’


For their first anniversary, a man bought his young wife a cell phone. She
was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. The next
day she was out shopping when the phone rang.
‘Hey, darling,’ he husband said. ‘How do you like your new phone?’
‘Oh, I just love it!’ she gushed. ‘It’s so cute and small—and your voice sounds
so clear. But there’s just one thing I don’t understand.’
‘What’s that?’
‘How did you know I was at the sari shop?’


Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. ‘Be careful,’ he said to his wife. ‘You’ll bring out the beast
in me.’
‘So what?’ his wife shot back. ‘Who’s afraid of a mouse?’

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